Alice is the main character. She is the writer of the diary. Alice is fifteen years old and dies when she just turned 17. Her name is not known, her name is not mentioned in the book, so the gave her the name Alice. She is very shy, and not self-confident. Especially in the beginning of the story, she is not very happy with her weight and it takes a long time to find new friends when they move to another city. After she meets a lot of people and did a lot of things, she learned very much. She is really growing up during the story. She gets a lot of life-experience which gives her more self-confidence. Drugs make her feel like she’s got a place in the world. In the end everything is going well, she finally got what she wants and she finally turned her back to drugs. But than she dies at the age of seventeen.
Quotes and examples:
I don’t know why I have to be so insecure and frightened. I haven’t even known Fawn very long and yet I’m almost jealous of all her other friends. I think they’re prettier and smarter and that no one really wants me around which is pretty stupid since they keep inviting me over there all the time. I guess I’m just a jerk. I just hope none of them has heard all the rotten stories that went around about me.
b) Chris is a very good friend of Alice. Together, the move to San Francisco, and start a new life. Chris is a nice girl, but she also uses a lot of drugs.
Joel is a student at the university where Alice’s father works. She met him at the library, and after their meeting, they are very close friens. Joel is a very nice guy, he works hard, but also wants to be with Alice. He is very faithful to Alice. Even when she uses a lot of drugs.
c) – Tim and Alexandria (Alice’s brother and sister)
– Alice’s parents
– Alice’s grand-parents
-Richie
– Ted
– Roger
– A couple of people at Alice’s school
-Gerta
-Beth
5. Message
While reading the book you can learn more about drugs and drug addiction. You also can learn that you never should use drugs.
I think the writer, Alice, has written this story because she was writing a diary about her drug addiction. I think the editors have made a book of Alice’s diary, to show everyone the dangerous of drugs.
The hidden message is conveyed to the reader, because Alice, a drug addict herself tells about her experiences with drugs. The most experiences are tragic. And it shows that you never should use drugs.
Quotes:
The garbage that goes with drugs makes the price too goddamned high for anyone to pay.
After you’ve had it, there isn’t even life without drugs. It’s a prodding , colourless, dissonant bare existence.
When I go into counselling I’m really going to try to make kids see that getting into drugs simply isn’t worth the bull shit!
B: YOUR OPINION:
1. Which character(s) did you like?
Joel and Chris
Joel: A student of the school where Alice’ s father works. Alice can trust him, she can tell him everything and he is very faithful.
Chris: Chris, is a very good friend of Alice. She’s a nice girl. She wants to support Alice. The girls van trust each other and move together to San Francisco.
Quotes and examples:
Joel: I met a boy in the library today. His name is Joel Reems and he; s a freshman. We studied together, then he walked me over to daddy’s office. Daddy was so busy, so we sat on the front steps of his building and waited for him. I decided to not pretend to Joel, but just to tell the truth about myself and let him take it or leave it (well almost all the truth). I told him I was only sixteen and just had library privileges because of my dad.
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He’ s really a very sweet guy, because he just laughed and said that it was all right because he hadn’t planned to ask me to marry him this semester anyway. When dad came out, he sat on the steps for a while and the three of us talked like we had known each other always. It was great! Before Joel left he asked me when I’d be studying again and I said that I spent my entire waking hours studying, which seemed to please him.
Chris: Chris feels a little guilty but I’m delighted that we turned on again, we belong to the world! The world belongs to us!
2. Which character did you dislike?
Richie and a couple of people of Alice’ s school.
Richie used Alice, and make her use more drugs. He was not good for Alice.
I also disliked a couple of people of Alice’s school. The people threw drugs in her bag and in her food. These are the children who bullied her.
Examples and quotes:
Richie: Richie and I never go anywhere. It’s almost a ritual for him to pick me up, spend a few minutes with my parents and then rush over to the apartment he shares with Ted. I really wish we could be together stoned every night, but he only let me come over when he restocks my acid supply and gives me enough grass and barbs to last me until I see him again.
People of Alice’s school: I was walking home from the store and a carload of kids pulled up beside me and began shouting things like: ” well, if it isn’t easy lay, Mary Pure.”
” No, it’s Miss Fink Mouth.”
“Miss super Fink Mouth. Miss Double Triple Fink Mouth.”
“I wonder what would happen if we stashed some shit in her old man’s car?”
” Wouldn’t that be great having her father, the professor, picked up?”
Then they called me every rotten name in the book and roared of laughing hysterically, leaving me some emotionally crushed and battered and beaten. I think they’re just threatening me, trying to drive me crazy. But who knows?
3. What did you feel when you read the story?
It was very beautiful, but also exciting to read Alice’s first drug-experience.
Beautiful: She describes it, as something wonderful, a beautiful experience.
But I felt also excited, because I knew that, this first experience was the reason for her whole drug addiction.
Examples and quotes:
My whole body was tense at every muscle and a feeling of weird apprehension swept over me, strangled me, suffocated me. When I opened my eyes, I realized that it was just Bill who had put his arm around my shoulder. ” Lucky you”, he was saying in a slow-motioned record on the wrong speed voice, ” but don’t worry, I’ll baby-sit you. This will be a good trip. Come on, relax, enjoy it. ” He caressed my face and neck tenderly, and said, “Honestly, I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Suddenly he seemed to be repeating himself over and over like a slow-motioned echo chamber. I started laughing, wildly hysterically. It struck me as the funniest, most absurd thing I had ever heard. Then I noticed the strange shifting patterns on the ceiling. Bill pulled me down and my head rested in his lap as I watched the pattern change to swirling colours, great fields of reds, blues and yellows. I tried to share the beauty with the others, but my words came out soggy, wet and dripping or tasting of colour. I pulled myself up and began walking, feeling a slight chill which crept inside as well as outside my body. I wanted to tell Bill, but all I could do was laugh.
Soon whole trains of thought started to appear between each word. I had found the perfect and true and original language, used by Adam and Eve, but when I tried to explain, the words I used had little to do with my thinking. I was losing it, it was slipping out of my grasp, this wonderful and priceless and true thing which must be saved for posterity. I felt terrible and finally I couldn’t talk at all and slumped back onto the floor, closed my eyes and the music began to absorb me physically. I could smell it and touch it and feel it as well hear it. Never had anything ever been so beautiful. It was a part of every single instrument, literally a part. Each note had a character, shape and colour all its very rest of the score so that I could consider its relationship to the whole composition, before the net note sounded. My mind possessed the wisdom of the ages and there were no words adequate to describe them…
4. What is your favourite part?
My favourite part of the book, is the part where Alice met Joel and she felt in love with him. This is almost the only happy thing in Alice’s life. Joel supports her. And never let her down.
5. What do you think about the theme?
Yes, I know a bit more about drugs addiction now. I new a lot about drug addiction before reading the book. But now I saw this theme through the eyes of a drug addict. And while reading this book, I know that I never will use drugs.
The writer made the message clear by telling that you can easily become an addict and that it may become your death. And that it’s not always a nice experience when you use drugs.
I think this message is very important. Especially because more people are using drugs. Drugs aren’t good for your health and you can get addicted. So less people should use drugs.
6. Questions to the writer.
-What do you think of the people who edit you diary? Don’t you think your privacy is violated, now the whole world can read through your feelings and memories?
-That final overdose, was it accidentally, or intentional?
-What would you do when you were still alive?
-I would like to know this answer because Alice didn’t edit her diary herself. She never knew that her diary has become a book.
-I would like to know this answer because, when you read the part of the final overdose, you don’t know if it was accidentally or intentional.
-I would like to know this answer because, Alice is now dead. But I wonder when she was still alive, would she go further with her drug addiction or would she go searching for help and start a new life.
C: THE SUMMARY
Summary:
Page 1-19
At the 16th of September Alice starts writing her diary. Her boyfriend Roger has broken up with her. She felt like her whole world collapsed. But then everything seems to be better, she and her parents would move to another city. She decided to start a new happy life. She wanted to change. And she wanted to lose pounds and started a died.
Alice is a bit afraid to move and isn’t sure if this is the right decision.
At the 4th of January they moved. She thinks the house is beautiful. She didn’t like her first school day. No one had spoken to her. But a few days later she found a miserably, nobody friend named Gerta.
Then she met a Jewish girl, Beth. Who she thinks is really nice and she can trust her.
Page 20-39
In the summer Beth has to go on a Jewish summer camp. Alice goes in the summer to her grandparents. Jill asked Alice to go to an Autograph party. The people at Jill’s party had done something in her drink. This became her first drug experience.
Alice went on a date with Bill. He introduces her torpedos and speed. She had used it.
Her grandpa has had a little heart attack.
Jill invited Alice to a party. But she uses her grandparents as excuse.
Bill called her to go on a date. Her grandmother insists her to go out. But she only want to baby sit when he wants a trip. But when she was at Bill’s house she decided to go on a last trip.
She isn’t no longer a virgin anymore. She’s afraid that she’s pregnant. She wanted to go home. But her mom and dad thought that she should wait until next week to come home. Roger came by with his parents to visit Alice and her grandparents. Roger kissed her.
Alice finally goes to her home. Roger wrote her a letter asking her if she was all right. But she hadn’t got the energy to answer him.
She got to see the doctor. He gave her sleeping pills.
Her period started. So she wasn’t pregnant. Now she can throw away her sleeping pills.
Beth came back from camp. But she’s hardly the same person.
Roger is definitely going to the military school.
Page 40-59
He went with Chris to the town to drink some coffee. Chris gave Alice a red candy type thing. And told her to use it so she would feel better.
Chris is going to try that Alice gets a job with her. Alice got the job.
She had to take Dexies to stay high at school and at work and on dates and to do her homework. Chris and Alice are ready to cut out. Chris has a friend in San Francisco who could help them get a job.
She smoked pot for the first time. And she thought that is was even greater than she expected.
Richie gave Alice some joints to smoke when she’s alone.
Alice and Chris are thinking about quitting their jobs. Alice’s deeply in love with Richie and she wanted to spend as much time with him as she can. Alice and Chris sold drugs for getting some money. Richie only lets Alice come over to restock her acid supply.She’s pushing at high school. She even sold drug to the kids on the grade school.
She found Richie and Ted in their apartment making love to each other.
Chris and Alice decided it’s impossible to change while they’re hereso they’re going to cut out and go to San Francisco.
Alice decided that she has got to turn Richie in to the police.
Alice was sneaking off in the middle of the night to Salt lake city and San Francisco.
It’s hard for Chris and Alice to find a job. Alice took a job in some crappy little lingerie store.
Alice is getting more homesick every day. She thought of going home, when she wasn’t so afraid of Richie.
She quitted her Job and was looking for a more interesting one.
She got a job, by a Mario Mellani shop. She likes her new job.
Mr. Mellani invited her to go to his home. She liked it. Shelia invited Chris and Alice to a party. At Shelia’s party Alice smelled something, it was a joint. One of the men passed her a joint. Shelia has parties almost every night. And Chris and Alice are always invited. They nearly always using her place as a crash pad. Rod, Shelia’s current boyfriend introduced them to heroin. At first they were a little afraid. But they did use it. Then Alice realized that Rod and Shelia had taken turns raping Chris and Alice and treating them sadistically and brutally.
Chris and Alice decided to leave this screwed up scene.
They decided that they maybe should start a shop close to Berkeley.
Page 60- 79
They found a new home, close to Berkeley. They made a shop of the half part of the apartment. The showroom looks adorable. They’re doing good business.
Alice is thinking a lot about going home. She wanted to go home around Christmas.
Alice called her mother. She was so glad to hear something from Alice. And Alice told her that they did be back on the first plane. She’s glad to be home again and see her mom, dad, grandparents, brother and sister. Alice wanted to be sure that Richie and Ted dropped out.
Alice felt grown-up.
Her mom and that were planning a New-years party. It was really fun.
Alice started school again. Joe came to her asking if she was holding. She was almost forgotten that so short a time ago she was a pusher.
Alice’s family and Chris spent the weekend in the mountains. It was really great.
Lane insisted Alice to get him a new contact. He made her promise to get at least a lit for tonight. George took Alice on a date, but it was all ruined because Joe and Lane were in her head tonight.
She had used drugs again.
Lane was hit.
Alice’s mom and dad sent her to a headshrinker.
Lane was sent to a lock-in, dry-out school.
Alice got high and left home with some other kids.
When she’s in some town, she can’t find any of the kids she came with. She went to a church. The people helped her. She got a shower, clothes and food. She met Doris in the doctor’s waiting room. She said that Alice could come share her pad. Doris had a whole can of pot.
Page 80-89
Doris went really low. Alice and Doris ran out of pot and money. They were hungry. Alice caught a cold. She was very sick. Alice and Doris wanted to cut out of that asinine assed place. They wanted to go to a rally in Southern California.
They got a ride. But the truck driver threaded them badly. So they took another ride.
The rally in Southern California itself was great. Acid, booze and pot as free as the air.
Alice had to have sex, if she didn’t, her supply would be cut off.
Alice talked to and old priest who really understood young people. He called her mom and dad. The still loved her and came to get her. If Alice is out of school she wants to help people like her.
Page 90-109
Alice started a new diary. Alice thought that drugs weren’t worth the bull shit.
Her grandparents came to visit her. They looked much older. She wanted to make her grandparents proud again.
She had to go back to school again.
While Alice was lying on her bed, planning her mother’s birthday, she got a sort of awful flash back, that she would rather forget.
Jan asked Alice to go to a party, but she said:”no thanks.”
Alice’s grandpa had had a stroke. Her grandpa is doing worse. He’s in a coma.
Than her grandpa died.
Someone had put a joint into Alice’s purse. She was scared.
Alice met Joel at the school library. He walked every day with her to her dad’s office.
Joel came over to Alice’s home. It became a fantastic evening.
Her dad is trying to get Joel a scholarship.
Page 110-129
Jan came over and wanted to baby sit. But she was really stoned. So Alice called her parents.
Jan told something to everyone at school. So everyone looked and laughed at her. Alice acted like she was sick, so she didn’t had to go to school.
Alice met Marcie in the supermarket. She asked Alice to go to a party. But Alice said:”No thank you.”
At the 16th of June, Alice’s grandmother died in her sleep.
Joel gave her Alice a lot of strength and offered her to go to the funeral.
When Joel left, he kissed her on the lips for the very first time.
Alice was one day walking on the street when some guy she even didn’t knew grabbed her and kissed her. It was very humiliating. She was very frightened.
Her mother wanted to drive her to the university to see Joel. And Alice told him everything. But he understood her.
Then she went in some kind of hospital jail. Her hands were completely damaged.
Alice found out how she got the acid. Her dad says that someone put it on the chocolate covered peanuts. She thought that she had worms all over her. So when she tried to put them off, she had hurt herself.
Alice got a package of letters from Joel.
Alice had to go to a youth center, a crazy house. She was scared.
Page 130-149
At the youth center were a lot of crazy people.
She got to talk to Dr. Miller. He told her that no one could help her in the youth center. She first had to admit that she had a problem.
When they were in the recreation room. Alice asked Babbie to talk in her room. But Babbie thought that Alice wanted sex with her.
After school she had group therapy. But she didn’t said much.
Her mom and dad came to visit her.
She had a session with doctor Miller. She told him about her social work plans. He said that she must talk to other kids about their backgrounds.
They went swimming with everyone. In the bus Alice was sitting next to Margie. She asked Alice to go with her and take off.
Alice’s mom and dad came to visit her again and brought a letter from Joel.
Alice could finally go to home. She was happy to be at her house again.
Her dad had to go to work at somewhere else. But they’re not going through Chicago after all. They’re making staff changes at the university and her Dad has got to get back.
Page 150-159
Alice met Fawn at the store and she invited Alice to come over and go swimming in their pool.
Alice’s old piano teacher asked her to be a solist at her outstanding student recital.
She got another letter from Joel. He can’t wait to see her.
Alice went to a party of Fawn. It was great.
Frank asked Alice out. But she said that she was too busy with family things.
Joel was visiting her at her home. He kissed her again.
She had to go to school again. But she’s scared.
She decided not keeping a diary anymore. Alice died three weeks after she decided not keeping a diary anymore. Her parents found her dead.
If it was an accidental overdose or a premeditated overdose, no one knows.
Expectations:
I expected that everything would came good with Alice. I expected that she would do anything to stay away from the drugs.
The book didn’t end the way I had expected. Alice died instead of everything would be good.
I would have liked it to end in a different way. I would have liked it that Alice was still alive. And that she good live her life further without drugs.
Overall opinion:
I liked the book, because while reading this book I know a lot more about drugs. I also liked the book because you can see everything through the eyes of a drug addict.
And normally you only hear stories about drugs from people who have never used drugs.
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