Love is tough to define, tough to apprehend, difficult to measure. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (Bible Gateway, n.d.). Love is what exceptional writers write about, remarkable philosophers ponder, and awesome singers sing about. Love is powerful, a very powerful emotion has no right or wrong definition, for it suits each one differently. Whether or not love is between family, friends, or couples. It is an amazing emotion that can be experienced in many ways.
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Most times, peoples first experience of love is within a family. Family love is demonstrated through examples of sacrifice, concern, compassion. There are different stages of family love and it is the affection we cherish between our family and relations. A close-knit loving bond between people can also begin in friendship. Whether it is a friendship between two females, two males, a female and one male, or two male and one female, these friendships will gradually develop into love. In no manner is it considered a romantic love, but this type of love makes a friendship stronger. Along the line, friends may move away but the love in the friendship burns on forever. In the other sense, romantic love is a love that not every individual will enjoy. It is a type of love that grows within individuals because it does not start at the beginning. When one finds the love he or she has been looking for, it becomes difficult to imagine life with anybody else. Usually, romantic love is a connection between two individuals that is captured with a feeling or emotion that is not only felt within the heart but all around their body.
Coming up with just one single definition of love is complicated because every individual has his or her own perception of what love is. The only way to experience the true meaning of love is to experience it for oneself. However, in our lives and the lives of others, love is evident regardless of it being between family, friends, or couples. Love is a precious feeling. My essay will be touching light on communication in a relationship.
A major additive of dating requires constant communication among couples in a relationship. If communication lacks in a relationship, it may make the relationship and the bond shared between both individuals weak and could cause it to crumble. The basic reason of challenges in relationships is the lack of communication in a relationship. Communication sets the foundation for a healthy relationship and when the foundation of a relationship is not built on communication, it makes it easy for both partners to lose interest in each other. Both partners in a relationship need to know how to communicate through the matters in a relationship no matter what situation might arise in their relationship.
Trust, honesty, and respect.
Building trust, honesty, and respect starts off at communication. In a healthy relationship communication is founded on trust and taking into consideration the other partners point of view. Partners in a relationship need to learn not to blame or criticize each other based on what they say or feel on certain matter in the relationship. Considering each other’s point of view is the best step in nurturing and growing a wholesome relationship. Whereas, when we despising each other’s point of view avoids and increases chance of disagreements in a relationship which could break the bond built. Blaming each other or pointing fingers on one another does not help solve the problems in a relationship. However, blaming one another without having a basic understanding on what the issue is in the relationship only makes the problem worse and can cause mistrust between both partners. Communication is the most effective element that will help to settle disputes in a relationship on mutual terms and it is also mental, verbal, and physical but most relationships fail due to the lack of communication among both partners.
Communicating clearly in a relationship.
Couples should learn how to communicate with themselves regardless of how familiar they already are with each other and how much love they have for each other. None of the partners should assume they can read the other partners mind. The both should communicate clearly to avoid any misunderstandings that may lead to resentment or confusion, anger or hurt. It takes two people to be in a relationship, and each person has a distinct way of communicating styles and needs. It is best for every couple to find the best way to communicate to each other, a way that suits their relationship. For couples to achieve a healthy communication style, it takes hard work and practice, and gradually they will become perfect at it. Couples should be clear when communicating with one another, so that they can both understand and receive the message. When couples talk to their partners, they should try to have a conversation with each other without having any sort of distraction like television, phones, and computers. Talk about what you want, fee; and need, couples should learn to listen to each other putting aside their own feelings and thoughts at the time and rather owe it to their partner to understand their partners feelings, wants, and needs. Tone of voice is also important when couples communicate.
Listening and Communication.
Another way for couples to indulge in effective communication is by good listening. A good listener encourages his or her partner to be honest about opening about anything. “People often confuse communication for talking or making conversation, and this is the root cause of why many of these same people are so unsuccessful in communicating with their partners. Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs – not just making small talk.” (Robbins, 2018)
Try to understand your partners perspective
As we get into a relationship, we frequently overlook which perspective we focus on. Which most at times seems to be our own personal perspective only. We tend to forget that our partner also has his or her own insight on an issue or topic. This can cause different expectations and interpretations. It is very important that both partners in a relationship can equally share their insight and differences in a given situation in a relationship. Practice makes perfect so it is best that both partners continually practice communicating their perspective repeatedly for the duration of the relationship. As we grow and change, our perceptions and expectations also grow and change. This alone could have a profound effect on a relationship.
Learn to communicate your partners love language
Quite often in a relationship, we tend to believe and expect our partner to be able to read our expression. To automatically know what we are feeling or thinking, and we forget that communicating our love language to our partner helps to form a healthy communication for the relationship. First, we must know as individuals what our needs and wants are and then we can verbally communicate this with our partner repeatedly. No one in a relationship should assume automatically that his or her partner understand and knows how to show and express his or her partners love language because they might have a totally different interpretation on how to express it. “Perhaps you feel most loved by being cuddled and hugged frequently Or, maybe it’s having your partner do things around the house for you” (Zands Monika Zands, 2015). Therefore, it is very advisable that communication is key in every aspect of a relationship.
Non-verbal communication
Non-verbal communication defines how our body language interprets the process of communicating reactions and emotions. Non-verbal communication is also a very helpful form of communication in that it helps a partner to understand what the other partner is saying. There is a popular saying, “Action speaks louder than words.’ Sometimes what a person is saying verbally, does not coincide with that might be said non-verbally. Often the non-verbal language is more truthful this is why it is important that partners should acknowledge and be truthful in both the verbal and non-verbal messages.
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In conclusion, most people in an intimate relationship have not really practiced the act of communicating. It is very important that proper and health communication be established in a relationship from the get-go because it helps partners to achieve intimacy. By developing communication skills in a relationship, both partners will be able to preserve and establish and preserve a respectful and loving relationship between each other.
References
- Bible Gateway. (n.d.). 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV). Retrieved April 16, 2019, from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13%3A4-7
- Robbins Tony Robbins, TONY (nd). The Key to Communication in Relationships. Consulted on 9 May 2019 from https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/key-communication-relationships/
- Zands Monika Zands, MONIKA (2015, July 20). The Top 5 Communication Rules For A Great Relationship. Consulted on 9 May 2019, from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-20380/the-top-5-communication-rules-for-a-great-relationship.html
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