Youth Attitude Parents
Youth’s Attitudes Are Getting Worse
The world nowadays is really putting the young ones in front of all other generation. Almost all of the product and services provided in the market are targeted to the youth. That all really makes the young ones self-centered and feel that their needs are the most important, resulting in the inconsideration of the thing surrounding them. Because of this their attitudes have become worse and worst every year. But there are still ways that parents and youth itself can do in order to prevent their attitudes becoming worse, it will be discussed in this research paper.
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“Children are illustrated as an arrow in the bow of an archer” said a magazine (Watchtower, 2007). It is like an arrow being aimed to the target by the archer. The question arise is whether the arrow can reach the target or not. There are several factors that will determine it such as the skill of the archer, the surrounding which is the wind, and also the circumstance of the arrow itself. The same things also apply for the children.
In this illustration the archer is picturing the parents themselves and the arrow being aimed to the target is picturing the children being shaped or trained by the parents into certain type of people. Furthermore the factors that will determine whether parents will be successfully shaping or training the children are the skill of parents, the surrounding where the children are living in and the condition of the children itself whether they want to accept the training given by the parents seriously or not.
In raising the children parents are holding the most important role, because during the child formative years parents are the closest friends the child can have. And even after the child has grown up parents still can be the closest friends. So first of all parents need to set a good example for the children because this will be a great lesson for the children themselves. There are several ways in which parents can be a good example in training the children such as they need to do whatever they have said or promise.
For instance is when the parents set a rule for the child stating that the child have to put back the toys after playing or else he will be punished. So when the parents see the kid does not put back the toys after playing, parents have to take action by punishing the kid. If the parents fail to do this the next time the child play with the toys he will just do not want to put it back because he knows that the parents will not punish him. And this thing can keep going on even to a bigger matter in the family since children are influenced largely by what they see than what they hear.
Secondly the parents need to work hand in hand in raising the children. Not only the wife or husband will do it by herself or himself such as “in many homes around the world, men view child training as chiefly woman’s work” (The Secret of Family Happiness 1996, p. 51). It is true that most of the child rearing works will be done by the wives since husbands need to work hard in order to provide living for the family, but it is still possible for fathers to spend time with the wives in giving training for the children. When both parents are cooperative in training their children it will make the task easier to do and children also can see that both of their parents are really taking care of them and none of them is more important than the other.
In a good family, every member will be able to communicate freely to each other. So the third skill that a father and mother need to have is to be a good listener, which is one part of communication. It will be very easy for every one of us to talk all the time and expect other people to listen to us. This can happen in the family as well, most of the parents like to talk either in giving instructions or disciplines but when the children express themselves parents will not want to listen to them because in parents' mind they might start to think that their sons or daughters are trying to be smarter and maybe will start to rebel to the parents. On the other hand, parents might not be able to listen to their children just because they life are too busy with the works and therefore they will not have the time to have a good communication with the children.
In this case, parents do well to ask themselves ‘Am I a good listener? Am I ready to spare a little of my time to listen to my children?’ If the answer to these questions are ‘Yes’ then the relation in the family will become stronger since the children will have a freer feeling to communicate with their parents. Open communication will be very useful for the parents because with this they will be able to know more about their children, for example is when the son or daughter is facing a problem, he or she will not feel hesitate to talk about their problem to the parents, and with this also parents can help their son or daughter to solve their problem.
The next factor that will determine whether parents will be successfully shaping or training the children is the surrounding where the children are living in. Back to the illustration of the archer, an arrow is more likely to hit the target if the archer aims and releases it in calm conditions. Similarly, children are more likely to turn up as the parents want if parents create a peaceful home environment. But how can the parents create a peaceful environment in the house? Again, in order to create a peaceful home condition it starts from the parents. Husband and wife need to maintain a strong marriage relationship.
If the marriage relationship has loosened it will be difficult for them to maintain a peaceful home condition since arguments and fights will surely occur. It is not surprising to see the reports that most of the children involved in law breaking come from a broken family where the parents have divorced from their early age or parents that always involved in arguments. Parents’ arguments will really have a great effect to the future life of the kids; some of the kids might feel really terrified when the parents’ argument has really reached its peak where it could involve the use of vulgar words and even hitting of one’s mate. Following these things when the children have grown up they will be likely to be fierce and like to use violence in solving their problems. In contrast of it, one article in the internet said that children who grow up in a stable, two-parent family have the best prospects for achieving income security as adults (The Heritage Foundation, 2007).
Another thing that has great effect in children’s surrounding is the mass media, such as magazines, radio, music, television, and internet. Due to the economic situation that is getting harder, most of the parents both father and mother are working full time in order to support the needs of their family. This condition forces parents to spend more time in their works and lesser to their children, therefore leaving their children alone at home accompanied by the mass media such as mentioned above. Internet and other mass media are bringing the outside world and its influences into the children without leaving the house.
Even these media can bring positive influence to the children like providing useful information, education, and entertainment. Yet there are also many negative influences that it can bring to the children from the things contained in these mass media, such as the use of drugs, smoking, heavy alcohol consumption, and other violent acts (Dunning, 2004). Many of these things have been unrealized being brought into the house and as the children are watching it they will try to imitate the person that they idolize including the lifestyle of these idols. So when parents are leaving their children with equipment like television, internet, and magazines, they are actually giving their children into the trap of bad influence that can lead to a change in their attitudes.
The case above is the surrounding when the children are raised in the family, which is only the beginning stage. Later on, as the children are growing up older they certainly will start to go to school, tuition classes, and college. This stage will bring further danger for the children attitudes. All of us have known that the attitudes of children nowadays are very different from the past twenty years. So even though parents have tried very hard in training their children to have a good attitude, children are still not immune to the influence from their peers and are exposed to all the bad effects introduced by their friends.
It certainly very hard for the children to resist such bad influences from their friends since peer pressure is very strong. For example is about the use of vulgar language, every parent surely does not want their children to speak vulgar language and therefore teaches their children from early age that vulgar language is not appropriate to be used. At home children might hear and get to know about vulgar language when they watch television program, yet because of the advice from their parents they will remember that it is not good to use such language.
But the problem will start when the kids going to school. They will hear all their friends’ conversation filled with vulgar words, and be tempted to use it. If they do not use it their friends will certainly notice their difference and start nagging them saying that they are not cool if they do not use vulgar words in the conversation. Finally, due to the peer pressure, children that have been trained by their parents will start to use vulgar words because they do not wan to be left by their associates.
So what can parents do in order to make sure that the environment that their children are living in will not bring a contradiction result to whatever they have planned for the children? First, parents should make sure that whatever they have taught to the children are really take root in their heart and mind. But how can parents know whether the children really take into their hearts and minds whatever the parents have taught them? Again, parental skills are very important such as discussed above. Skillful parents will be able to draw whatever in the children's mind by having a conversation with their children, and from the conversation that they are having, parents should be able to tell whether the children really take whatever their parents have taught them seriously or not.
Secondly, parents must spare their time for the kids despite of how busy they are with their works. In the beginning it will be very hard to try to spend time with the kids since the economic condition is not very good and this condition is really forcing both father and mother has to work full time in order to fulfill the needs of the family. But if they really want to raise their children successfully, parents have to do some sacrifice such as the mother can just work part time so that she can spend more time with the children.
Parents can spend their time with the children in many ways, for example is by talking with them about their day and what problems are they facing out there whether personally or with their friends. But sadly many times also children will not be able to share the problem they are facing with the parents because they are too busy with work and after they come back from work they already too tired to hear another problem coming from their sons or daughters.
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Another way where parents can spend their time with their children is by doing activities together with the children such as cooking for mother and daughter, repairing things for father and son, playing music, games, etc. It is very good for a family to do things together because if children are left to their own things, they will feel so bored and lonely and finally they will turn to their friends so that they can do the activities which sometimes can bring bad effects to our own children. And if parents can do activities with their children they will have a closer relation with their children since children will take them not as mere parents only but also as their friends.
The last one where parents can spend their time with their children is by monitoring the things that they are doing. But to monitor the children does not mean that parents have to be always on the side of the children wherever they go and whatever they do. Because if parents do this, the youths will feel that they do not have their privacy and feeling as if they are still small children. Parents can monitor their children by just at least knowing that their children are being responsible towards the freedom that the parents give to them and that they are on the right track of life.
Thirdly, parents should create a peaceful atmosphere in the house. Children that are raised in a peaceful and caring family condition are more likely to have better self-esteem when they have grown up and mixing into the society. On the other hand, children that are raised in an unhappy, fearful family will most likely to grow up with low self-esteem and will have more problems than children that are raised in a peaceful and caring family (Raising Children Network, 2007).
Yet, in some occasion parents can lose control of themselves when one of their sons or daughter make a mistake, but instead of losing control and to punish the child bitterly, parents do well by remembering that the last time they might have made the same mistake too. By doing so, parents will become more thoughtful in giving punishment to the child.
The last factor that will determine whether parents will be successfully shaping or training the children is the condition of the children itself whether they want to accept the training given by the parents seriously or not. Going back to the illustration about the archer, even if the archer is a very skillful archer, he is still unlikely to hit the target if the arrow condition has become bent or warped. So in the family life also, even if the parents have tried very hard to train their children in the way that they want it to be and they have applied the things mentioned above, it will be unlikely for them to achieve it if the children themselves do not want to take it into their heart and apply it in their life.
Many times parents will try to straighten the bent arrow, so to speak, by striving to reajust children’s wrong thinking. But in the end, children will have to make their own decision as to whether they want to be shaped by the parents or be shaped by the world conditions where the attitudes of the youth have become worse day by day. In some countries for example, they have made it the law that when a child has reached certain age (seventeen or eighteen years old) they will have a right to choose their own course of life.
This condition has lead to many broken hearts for the parents because when their child still stay together with them, he or she seems to be contended with the law and regulations given by the parents. But the minute he or she has reached the appointed age, he turns out to be very contradictive to the life that parents have been expecting from him.
In conclusion, the attitudes of the youth have become worse nowadays. One of the causes of this condition is because of the world really puts the youth as its main attention. Due to that, there will be no way that can be done in order to change this worsening condition as a whole. But as a small part of it, which is in family scope this condition can be prevented. In order to achieve it, parents play a very big role.
As an archer that is aiming the arrow to the target, there are three factors that will determine whether parents will be successfully shaping or training the children first is the skill of parents, secondly the surrounding where the children are living in, and lastly the condition of the children itself whether they want to accept the training given by the parents seriously or not. If parents are striving to apply the skills mentioned above, they might be able to successfully direct their children in the right course.
References
Dunning, Lisa, 2004, Negative Effects of Mass Media Influences on Your Children, viewed 8 November 2007, <http://www.lisadunningmft.com/negative_effects_mass_media_child_article.htm >
Raising Children Network, Ltd., 2007, Families that work well, viewed 14 November 2007, <http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/families_that_work_well_-_cyh.html/context/15>
The Heritage Foundation, 2007, How Broken Families Rob Children of Their Chances for Future Prosperity, viewed 8 November 2007, <http://www.heritage.org/Research/Family/BG1283.cfm>
The Secret of Family Happiness, 1996, Watchtower Bible and Track Society of New York, Inc., USA.
Watchtower, 2007, Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York, Inc., USA.
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